part of my world

 

Monday, August 23, 2010

The time has come

Thanks Sleeping Beauty for inspiring this post. *hugzzzzz* =)

Finally, the time has come for me take a huge step!
Have been deliberating it for a loooooooong time...
Didn't quite have the courage to make this decision in the first place, prolly coz due to the fact that I was complacent and the mooolah they threw at me in May!!!

There is actually such things..
That you wake up one fine day surer than ever that you want to go ahead with your decision.. SURER than EVER you know!!!
and i've never look back since.

Am looking forward now to this new beginning.. partially scared but excited somehow bout starting anew and all the challenges it poses..
And most importantly... I have the freedom now.
Phew~~

posted by Charis at 9:47:00 am | (0) comments

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Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Walaaaa~~ I'm back!

Aiyoo.. it's been like y.e.a.r.s!!!! since my last entry. I thought blogspot would shut this down already coz it has been inactive for too long =P

I was at Kanasai's page and i found my link! Thanks naybor for not removing it afterall, it has been dead for like erm.. 3 years?? hehe =PPpppp But now, i have hopefully revived it!
It was then that i began reading my previous posts.. It made me smile and how "green' i was back then and defferently I look at things now. It too reminded me why I started this blog in the first place.. to jot down my journey away..

I am still away from home. FYI.

Maybe because that I have grew to be more familiar with this place than my home that's why I stopped and another reason was that I found myself instead of blogging about things, happenings etc.. I was whinning!!!! I am still whinning... but in a different perspective now.

I grew weary of hoping for a transfer
I grew weary of those annoying patients
I grew weary of trying to improve myself at work because it's rather impossible
I grew weary of complaining why am I placed here
I grew weary of the "different" life here
I grew weary being depressed why I am the last one left
I grew weary being jealous of people who gets their transfers just because they have psychotic mothers or dying fathers

I realised that you do not let 'chance' and 'circumstances' deter you from being happy
I realised that you do not beg and wait for something to be given to you
I realised that you have to MAKE the change yourself, like it or not
I realised that there is no reason to put your fate in other peoples hands, you have to determine where your life is heading, not them, no one!
I realised that you cannot be too complacent
I realised too that the world is really damn unfair
I realised that I grew up.........

posted by Charis at 9:42:00 pm | (2) comments

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Monday, November 19, 2007

The bitter pharmacist

Yeah, it has been awhile since I last sat and blogged.

It has been awhile too that I have time to myself. I was very the happening then so hence the MIA *ahem*cough*ahem*

Now that I have shifted out of the quarters which housed me comfortably for a year and 2 months, I have to begin to adapt again to the new place. No where far, still in the same town but away from what I grew so familiar with over the year.

There was of course the initial depression when I felt so alone and alienated and new. Then later it became boring. Then much later it progressed to routine. Now, it's aimless.
Sheeeesh!

Together with my job, it's like a combo. It makes me lazy now. Reeeeaaaaaaaaly LAZY!
I am turning typical. Some of my close crappy friends already commented that I am turning into a typical. HA HA

What-the-ever

Working in a clinic is such a vast, humungous different from a hospital where money, staff n possibly everything is aplenty. Here, we are the lowest hierachy in the health care system where everything are leftovers, the big juicy meat will be devoured by the hospitals and we get the crumbs. Be grateful I tell you, for there are such things that you are left starving too. So if u get a crumbly crumb.. start Thanksgiving early.

Then comes the difference in patients. Back in my nice poshy hospital, they'll sit down like a civilised person and pretends listens to you until you finished your dispensing speech. Now.. they don't even look at you, they'll just grab their free medication and walk off until one day I was so pissed of when I was holding a Benadryl trying to explain how much to drink, that .. THAT patient just trying to wrenched it from my grasp that I snatched it back and ask him to be the pharmacist instead. Tell me now how to take it and he just shoke his head. That .. THAT person I so the wanna land my fist on his face. URGHhh..
I don't care if you don't get well, I also don't care if you died overdose but pleeeease don't blame it on me for not telling you how much n how to take it. Because I bloody well DID but you weren't LISTENING!!

Anyway, of course there are classic ones which after I gave them all their drugs, they noticed their life-or-death Benadryl is missing. Then they asked me where it is. Then I said, the dr didn't write it so hence it's missing. Then she complained and whined and asked why did the dr forget. You see, I really agree with you out there, I must have missed the mindreading class during Pharmacy school. How the heck am I supposed to know. Forgot kua. So I asked her to go to see the dr again and asked him to write la.. maybe he forgotten. And she nicely sulked and said, "Moi, you pegi tanya sendiri la" WAH. As if my fault la that you don't get your Benadryl.

URGH...

Anyway, of course there are the nice ones. Those who make your day with just a simple smile and a word of thanks. I'll blog about them when I feel nice the next time. Till then.. I need to chill. My zits are popping out because of the stresses.

posted by Charis at 7:57:00 pm | (2) comments

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

So I was transferred

........to 20 km away......

from the hospital to the clinic in the same district. So much for the anticipated exodus.

Inititally when I got the letter, it was originally-written-then-striked-off as Hospital Muadzam Shah! THAT... is a gone place. Phew, when the letter got to me, it was replaced by KK Jaya Gading somewhere about 15-20 mins from Kuantan town. I was relieved. So I was happy.

I was reporting with a few friends and everyone seemed happy with their new posting. So we decided to go have breakfast first since those people made us wait from 8am till 10am then only layan us. So we are hungry and happy. So no need to go to the Bahagian to catfight for an alternative posting.





Halfway through my horrible kononnya chicken cheese sandwich, I received a call asking me whether I want a clinic 20km away from the hospital. WOW. No one expected anyone to be posted there as there is no, never a vacancy. So happened that the lady who was working there for 2 whole years wanted to transferred back to Kuantan and me wanted a place near to KL. Soooooo.. the lady from Bahagian asked me if I want to exchange?

I said yes immediately. Du-uh..

It means I don't have to move at all. I am still living in the same town (well, almost) and I still have those fat-inducing people around me.

Then again, Kuantan sounds more exciting. It has a beach, good & not-so-pricey food, NICE decent edible food, a place you can call shopping mall, Starbucks, McD's breakfast by the beach (fooiyoh), A&W's coney dog! n lots more things to make u happy (and spend mooney lah).

You see.. spoilt for choice.

But in the end decided to stay put where I am comfortable la. *I am so not adventourous*
Be nice and let the lady go to Kuantan la.
Which later I learnt that the guy at that Jaya Gading does not want to move, so the lady got the hospital instead. THANK GOODNESS!! *shudders*

So yeah, I am "continuing" my life in the town I was sent to a year ago and all is good =)

posted by Charis at 3:06:00 pm | (2) comments

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Sunday, September 02, 2007

Exactly a year ago

Today marks ONE year of being away from home, in this new (not so new anymore) place.



wheeee~~~~~


Exactly a year ago I was in the same anxious-cum-aimless-possibly-bitter state. Came to this place which I got so fond of now and thought I would never ever survived. I thought I would rot away here. But here, I found so many things that were lacking, that were absent back in KL. I am happy here.


But then again, someone once said good things never last (really?). Finished my slavery year. Now am no longer a trainee. No longer able to pretend that I know nothing, get away with the remark "I dunno wor, I am a trainee ma". Now, I am a full fledge officer. Everything also must know. People up there will ask you why you don't know. They'll ask you why you didn't learn it during your training. Btw, they expect your one year meagre "training" (slavery is actually more accurate) to teach you how to run a stupid hospital. If that's the case, Hello, I'll be sitting at your place already lor..


Anyway, I am not that bitter yet. I might be tomorrow.

Because again, if you remember, exactly one year ago, I got my posting letter.

So this year, I got another posting letter. Since because you are supposedly to be adequately trained, you'll be shooed out of the training centre which is usually a civilised habitat to some to some funny, dodgy, wasteland. There, you are kinda on your own.

So... I got me letter (did I mention that?)

The adrenaline rush starts again. Everyone of my former classmates and new colleagues are killing their phone bills by calling Putrajaya, BPFK, JKN, friends, families, strangers, etc.. All that anxiety again. So deja vu.

So everyone got their posting. Well, most of them. Again, there is a new list of posting in the class email, updating everyone where everyone is.

As expected, I got Pahang agian. My third choice actually.

I'm glad it's Pahang rather than any other states since I am kinda familiar with this state plus I sorta know who's who.

The THING is....... Grrrrrrrr...........

like last year, I DON'T KNOW WHICH CORNERS OF PAHANG IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You'll hear rumours of where there is a critical need of staffs and all. And you get worried. Worried which place you'll get, how far away it is from life, accomodation, etc..

I really really really DETEST this stupid posting-kinda-thingy. Just because we are here and so happen to be smart enough to take up the chosen course that we are bounded to serve. Sometimes, I wish I am stupid-er. You don't care huh whether we are happy or not. You don't care huh that we are separated from our loved ones. You just don't care...

I could be more bitter tomorrow or the opposite.

Lord, help me to accept wherever I am going to go and let me remember how this place, ends.

I leave this place with a heavy heart definately.
To you, I never expected but I am happy =)
My dinner buddies, I will definately miss you guys. You guys are the reason why I grew fat!
My neighbours, it has been wonderful.
My now-roommates, you girls are the best!
My church bro & sis, I am truly blessed.
To those that I've been aquainted here, I wish I could have more time to know you better.

What awaits me tomorrow...

posted by Charis at 10:27:00 pm | (3) comments

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